hello, gorgeous, good evening. idk why i’m saying this (mainly because i’ve said it before) but i guess i just like to say things like this a lot. better get used to it. i really really like talking to you. i wish i could talk, i wish i had interesting things to say and talk about but i really don’t and i kinda think that if you haven’t got anything to say you shouldn’t waste the words, y’know?

the thing about msn is that it becomes awkwardly obvious how little i have to talk about, to anybody. but i guess what i like about you is that whilst talking to you is comfortable, not talking to you is too, i don’t feel like i should, i WANT to talk to you, but that’s the thing, i want to talk to you but idk what about or what to say. distance sucks. a lot. even if I’m just as awkward irl somehow i think it would be wonderful if i could be awkward in your arms. i don’t think i’d mind being awkward so much. 

haha oh god this is embarassing now idk i just like to write things like this. it’s silly and makes conversation serious and gets in the way of chatting and it’s weird and yeah you know all this! idek what i’m saying any more. in short i love to write stupid embarassing novels um yeah

in other words, I want to kiss you.

man I am not going through the whole rigamarole of coyly skirting around one another and twiddling our thumbs again

I would’ve written you sonnets.

I like you. A lot. And before, back in September, I would have been dating you in a second, because you’re sweet and make me feel special.

But you’re so much like my ex, so much, you could be twins. Well, you’re better looking, but still. He was just like you, sweet and charming and funny and gave me all the attention I needed, but he stopped. He got bored and fell out of the first flushes of love and I don’t do that, and I need someone who doesn’t, and I’m scared you will. Scared you’ll get bored or stop making the effort.

Also, the distance. He found another pretty girl nearby who wanted him and that was it. How do I know you won’t do the same? I deserve better than that, I know. Prove it to me that I can trust you, that you’re worth it, that you won’t leave me when someone else comes along. And long-distance is hard. It sucks and it hurts and it upsets you and I just don’t feel worth it any more. And I don’t want to put myself through that for anyone who’s less than amazing. Also, I have crushes on loads of people and you’re cute but I don’t know whether I see you as attractive in a romantic way just yet. I probably could do. I don’t know.

Despite all that, I love talking to you. You’re adorable, and funny, and treat me like I’m a princess, and I like that you make an effort, and god, I would give anything to curl up with you, maybe read whilst you play games, watch movies, cuddle, (and make-outs would be nice too), but when you say “I love you”…I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to do or say.

I don’t want a nice guy like you wasting time on me.